Emotions Running Wild

Furious. Happy. Angry. Appalled. Resentful. Jubilant. These are some of the feelings I had as I looked back at some old photo albums with Josh yesterday. When Josh took a break to go smoke, my eyes filled up with tears and it took everything in me not to cry. I was happy, but most of all I was downright pissed off. How did I ever let myself look like the photos in those albums? 

When I first met Josh, I weighed around 140 pounds. This is a guess, but I'm fairly certain it's accurate. Over the course of the past ten years and our relationship, I gained almost sixty pounds! As I was looking at the pictures, I wanted to tear them from the albums and rip them apart. I hate them. I'm so mad at myself for allowing that to happen, yet so happy with the improvements I've made over the past six or seven months. It's strange to feel so angry and joyful all at the same time. Here's two pictures to prove my point, and I have to say...I could not find many full body "before" shots online, or any for that matter that show how truly fat I was. In all these pictures, I noticed I'm holding my purse to the side or in front of me, or I'm standing behind someone or something. That's because I've deleted or simply not posted them because deep down I knew they were embarrassing. To really see some fat ones, you gotta look in my photo albums in our living room.

The past two days, I haven't eaten the best. I was a little mad at myself, and then we went to volleyball last night. I haven't had a single drop of alcohol at volleyball for the past two weeks. This is an accomplishment considering the fact that everyone drinks on sand volleyball night and they keep the pitchers coming. 

So anyway, I walked up to the bar to order my sugar free Red Bull when I ran into an old acquaintance that I haven't seen in several years. We exchanged hellos and then she just came right out and said "You look f***ing phenomenal, and I just thought that you really needed to know that." It's a great feeling to know that someone you haven't seen or talked to in a while notices you've been working your butt off. 

We got to talking (she used to be a DFM trainer at Club Fitness) about what I should do next, which leads me to my next ramble for the day: my plan of action. After vacation, I am going to start Turbo Fire, and I plan to follow the workout calendar as closely as possible. Of course things like float trips and other life events come up, and I'm sure I'll miss a day or two, but that's life. I also plan on sneaking in some Zumba and Cardio Dance when I'm feeling up to it, but I'm mostly planning to stick to the Turbo Fire program. 

After that, I'm seriously considering starting CrossFit. I've already been noticing that my workouts definitely need to be kicked up a notch. I can't burn nearly as many calories as I used to, which is one of the reasons why I got Turbo Fire. It uses high intensity interval training so it really brings up your heart rate, and that's exactly what I need. CrossFit brings about a whole new world of challenges. They are things you think you'll never be able to do, but apparently you will be amazed how strong you get and how quickly it can happen.

Enough rambling for now...only 4 days until vacation! I'm so excited to spend some time in a wonderful place with wonderful people!

Getting My Tan On

The scale is still right around that 150 mark! Darnit. I was at 149 for a brief moment, and now I've been between 150-151. Oh well! Just gotta work hard this week. Melissa and I have been working our butts off for the last seven months, so hopefully we can keep each other in check on vacation. I'm anticipating eating semi-healthy, taking nice walks on the beach, and not going too crazy! Darn vacations in paradise. Always ruining my hard work ;) I'm thinking back to when we went to Jamaica on our honeymoon. I did all this hard work and boot camp to lose about 20 pounds, only to drink sugary tropical beverages, eat loads of pasta and bread along with fried foods, and ruin all my progress.

What do I love about the summer? 

Swimming! Laying out! Sleeping in! Going to the lake! Camping! Lounging in my pajamas! Fishing! Walking my dog every morning! Having time to prepare delicious healthy meals! How clean my house stays! 

I could literally go on forever, but I won't. You're welcome :) One thing I am making myself do this summer is get in some type of exercise before I lay out or go to the pool. Sometimes it's just a 30 minute walk with Juno, sometimes it's more. But I am making sure I get in some kind of exercise before laying out. 

Time for a short workout. Then I'm heading to Ross' with Josh to get some clothes for vacation. I really don't have any casual, sundresses that fit me anymore, and I really need some tank tops! Hopefully we can find some good stuff tonight.

Hello 140s!

Well the scale is finally back into the 140s, and I am so darn excited! It said 149.7 this morning. I'm not going to log it yet though because I have a really bad habit of undoing my hard work when the weekends come around. That's why I usually only log my weight on Sundays. 

It's going to be a busy, but fun weekend! We are going to the Zac Brown Band concert tonight, over to Illinois to pick up race packets and have lunch at Top Shooters tomorrow, and to the Graffiti Run on Sunday!

I am annoyed. Seriously annoyed. I feel like I should be able to go have lunch with my friends without having to completely abandon my good eating, and at some places this is just really not possible. 

I went with some girls I used to teach with to Sybergs for lunch yesterday. I got on their website BEFORE I went so I could have a good choice already picked out. Pshhhh. First of all, MFP only had like 5 things from Sybergs on the app, so that wasn't at all helpful. Sybergs has nothing online that shows nutritional information, so that was a dead end. "That's okay," I thought. "I can just read the description and give a reasonably good guess as to the number of calories." There is nothing freaking healthy there! Yes, they have salads, but as I'm reading the descriptions and the dressing selections, the salads are likely just as high in calories as some of the other stuff. I ended up with a grilled chicken sandwich that had tomato, lettuce, and avocado with a side of fresh fruit. And let me tell you about the fresh fruit...it was soaked in sugary syrup out of a can. 

Why can't all restaurants be up front about the nutritional information of their foods. I *LOVE* going to Chili's, Applebees, Longhorn, and McDonalds...just because they have the nutrition info printed right in front of your face. It's not a guess, and I don't have to sit there eating my meal wondering if it's way worse for me than I am guessing. Josh and I love going to little cafes in the city, but I hate that I never know what it going into my body. *end rant*

I need to kick my butt into gear and get my house cleaned. Have a great weekend!

Love In The Wild Night

Have you seen that show Love in the Wild? Jenny McCarthy was the host last year, and it was the second season. Josh and I were I was obsessed! Josh liked it too, but probably not as much as I did. 

If you've never seen it, basically a bunch of guys and girls fly to Costa Rica looking for love. They have to team up with a person of the opposite sex for each challenge in the wild. 

I always want to do the challenges!! They are awesome. Swimming in the ocean, canoeing down the rivers, hiking with heavy stuff, and all kinds of cool things in the Costa Rican rainforest. It's absolutely beautiful.

Here is my favorite couple, Samantha and Mike, the first to win Love in the Wild!

Anyway, there has been no talk of this show coming back on for season three, but the website is still up and running. *fingers crossed* 

The reason I'm writing all about this show is because Josh and I would have "Love in the Wild Night" every Tuesday. Basically, we would make kebabs (somehow they seem junglish to us?) and watch this show. I have fond memories of this wonderful night each week. First of all because the kebabs we make are my definitely in my top three favorite things to eat. Secondly, because they are healthy. And last but not least, I could watch one of my favorite shows!!

This morning, I chopped up everything for our Love in the Wild Night kebabs, and boy do they look yummy! They are in a gallon sized ziplock bag marinating in Italian dressing right now. This is the most healthy and delicious meal I know how to make!

Basically, we cut up red onion, red pepper, yellow pepper, chicken, and put in whole mushrooms. We marinade all of this in Lite Italian Anything dressing for at least 10 hours. Then we sit at the kitchen table and skewer them (in a pattern so each kebab is alike, of course). We stick 'em on the grill, and voila! I have a delicious dinner for only 426 calories! Thanks to this awesome kitchen scale below....

I was able to figure out that these kebabs are even lower calories than I first thought. I was estimating the veggies to be much higher. So tonight, I'm having Love in the Wild Night, with or without the show!

I'm going to try and take Juno on a short walk, then I'm picking up Joe at 9:00 to go lift weights. At 11:00, my mom and I are heading to the pool to lay out. It should be a great day! 

Thank God For Workout Buddies

It's not a secret that having workout buddies helps you stay motivated. Well today that proved true when Melissa got my butt to the gym. I would have sat at home and cooked dinner. What happened instead was I went to Cardio Dance and my awesome husband made dinner for us. 

People I can work out with at Club Fitness:

1. Melissa

2. Joe

3. Casey

4. Krystal

5. Ashley

6. Angelina

7. Angel

Usually, I go with Angel, Melissa, and Joe...and that makes me happy! I love workout buddies! The more people that can keep me moving, the better.

Turbo Fire

Yesterday as I was logging on My Fitness Pal, this lady who friended me on there posted something about a Beach Body sale. I was completely excited because 1) I love all the Beach Body programs I've ever done, but 2) they are just too freakin' expensive! 

I bought Hip Hop Abs from Beach Body as well as Turbo Jam, which I love. I've also done parts of P90X, although I tried to do that when I was way out of shape, so that wasn't very successful. My brother's girlfriend just got Insanity as well, and she loves it so far. 

So I ordered Turbo Fire right away! It's usually around $100, but this week it was only $55! I've been thinking about ordering it anyway because it supposedly really helps you tone up, which I desperately need. I made the mistake of wearing Soffee shorts to Zumba the other day, and I couldn't stop looking at how my thighs jiggle in the mirror.

 All the Beach Body programs are designed in an awesome way with nutritionists and fitness experts, so if you actually follow the calendar and suggested eating, you are more than likely to get great results.

Anyway, I'm going to try and squeeze in a quick walk with this pup, and then it's going to be a busy day! I'm heading to my sister's house to hang out with her for a while. Then we are going to get our hair done! Woohooo! Perhaps the afternoon has some laying out involved. 

Have a happy Tuesday!

Blueberry Grilled Cheese - Take 1

Current Weight 153.4 lbs. 

Down 42.6 lbs. from the start

13.4 lbs. until my goal

Well...my weight hasn't really changed in several weeks. I'm determined to change that this week! Now that it's summer vacation, there are no excuses. I have the time to make healthy meals, and I also have the time to meal plan, grocery shop, and make healthy dinners.

Starting with....181 CALORIE blueberry grilled cheese!!! 

I made this tasty breakfast this morning, but I think I'm going to make some changes tomorrow because I think with a few changes it will be incredible.

Here's how I made it this morning:

Ingredients:

• Healthy Lifestyle High Fiber Bread (35 calories per slice)
• .6 TBSP Country Crock Light (30 calories)
• 4 TBSP Philadelphia FF cream cheese (60 calories)
• 1/4 C blueberries
• Sweet N Low liquid sweetener 

Directions:

1. Mix cream cheese and sweet n low together in a tiny bowl.

2. Make exactly like a grilled cheese, except instead of putting cheese in the middle, put cream cheese mixture and blueberries.

3. Enjoy! :)

I think tomorrow I'm going to blend the blueberries into the cream cheese and add some kind of nut to give it a bit of a crunchy texture.

Happy Monday! :)